


The Diary of Calamity Jane

by QueerLobster



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Backstory, Behind the Scenes, Cat POV, F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-12-14 13:36:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueerLobster/pseuds/QueerLobster
Summary: She thinks I don’t pay attention, but I know what my person is feeling. And I see more than she thinks.-Or, a behind the scenes look at Nicole’s life in Purgatory, and her developing relationship with Waverly, starting in Season 1, as observed by her cat, the one and only, Calamity Jane.





	1. The Best Part of Moving

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a fic prompt/discussion on Twitter about how great it would be to have a BtS story about Nicole and Waverly, as observed/told by Nicole's cat, Calamity Jane. Who am I to stand in the way of a great idea?

* * *

I don’t know why she did this, but it meant that I spent entirely too long cramped inside a noisy plastic cage under or in moving tin cans that just got smaller and smaller over the last day or so. I’m not pleased. I didn’t ask for this. But, she seems happy. A little nervous, but I think she’s happy. I guess that’s good enough for me. 

This house is a lot bigger than the last place we lived. Quieter. I like that. I think my person likes it, too. We’ve only been here a few days, but she spends a lot more time looking outside, and smiling, and petting me. The last place we were in was small, just a couple of rooms, and even with just the two of us I had to work hard to find a good quiet corner. Here, there are birds and squirrels and snow outside, and plenty of corners and rooms for me to set up in and watch them. 

A new man came over the other night, though. I don’t like men. He never saw me, but I saw him. He wears a big black hat, and has some fur on his face, but I still don’t trust him. My person was nervous around him, but I think she wants him to like her. This is strange. I don’t really think she likes men, either. He didn’t stay long, but he gave her a big stack of paper. It looked important. I probably shouldn’t try to eat it. But I might, anyway. Before we came here, my person put away all of my toys, and she hasn’t brought them back yet. It might teach her a lesson. 

She’s sitting at the table now, scratching away on those papers. When I jump up in her lap she stops for a moment and puts both of her arms around me. She squeezes me. I don’t usually tolerate that, but she seems sad, so I let her do it. 

“Calamity Jane, what are we doing here?” 

She sighs. I purr. She talks to me a lot lately. I don’t know what she expects me to do, but I listen, and I purr. It calms her down.

“I mean, I guess this is a fresh start, right? That’s kind of what I wanted. But the thing about fresh starts is that I don’t know a soul here. It might just be you and me for a while, girl.” 

She’s lets me go enough to scratch under my chin. She knows how much I like that.

“At least Sheriff Nedley seems nice, right? A little gruff, but I don’t really get the ‘good ‘ol boys’ vibe from him. I wouldn’t have come here if I did. He seemed really keen on getting me here, and he’s done an awful lot to help get us set up here, you know? You might even like him, if you gave him a chance.”

That was a silly thing for her to say. She knows I don’t like men. 

“It was kind of weird that he warned me about ‘The Earps’ though. They can’t be that bad. I mean, aside from poor parental choices in alliterating names, and kind of an odd family history, I bet they aren’t any different from everyone else here. Small towns can be weird, though, I guess. You spend so long knowing the same people and the same families, and you get to thinking you know them just because of their family. You know how awful it is to be on the other side of that, girl?”

I look up at her, and she smiles at me. Humans have such strange ways of showing that they’re happy. 

“No. Of course you don’t. You’re a cat. I’m talking to my cat. Again.”

She laughs, and I keep right on purring. 

“Ok, CJ, I need to finish up this paperwork before I start tomorrow.”

The nerve. She lifts me off of her lap and sets me down on the floor. Clearly she doesn’t appreciate everything I do to help her. That’s fine. It’s still early enough that I can enjoy the best part about moving: the boxes.


	2. Dinner Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support, folks! Credit where credit is due - my pal BlueEyedGryphon got me rolling on this idea, and I’m having a blast writing it! This picks up during/after 1 x 02, when Nicole introduces herself to Waverly.

* * *

I’m hungry. My person is late. But I can hear her coming up the stairs. She’s slower than usual - she probably needs a nap. I’m not above waiting for her at the door - it makes her happy to see me, even if she complains about me being impatient. Letting people think we need them is one of the nicest things cats do, and as slow as she’s walking, I think she needs me. 

“Hey CJ, I know, I know you’re starving. Nobody ever feeds you, or pets you, or plays with you, your life is so hard!” 

She always says this - but she’s going to get my food while she’s still talking, so I don’t mind the indignity as much as I might otherwise. She puts my food bowl down and pets me. I’m not going to wait for her to start eating. 

My person slides her back down the kitchen cabinets, until she’s sitting on the floor with me, her legs stretched out around me and my food. I can hear her sigh over my own chewing. It must have been a long day for her, too. She reaches up to take that ridiculous thing she wears on her head off, and she puts it on the table. I don’t get to play with it - something about the man with the fur on his face not liking fur all over everything. He’s one to talk. 

“Ohhhh, CJ I think I really stepped in it today. Yep. I, uh, ‘introduced myself’ to Waverly Earp.”

I think that’s the girl she’s been talking to me about all week. She just hasn’t been able to stop. ‘Should I? Shouldn’t I? But she’s so cute. But I think she has a boyfriend. She’s probably straight. And she’s an Earp. Not that it matters. But it’s a small town. I don’t want to be a creep.’ And if she said any of those things one more time she was going to find out what it’s like when a cat really ignores you... 

“Don’t look at me like that, Calamity Jane Haught. You didn’t do your job and talk me out of it, ok?” 

I keep on eating. It’s all in her head. I’ve been waiting for her to say something to that girl, I was getting sick of her just talking about it. 

“I went to Shorty’s, where she works, and I made an absolute fool of myself. I strutted in there like some cocky Big Dyke on Campus, and the first thing I said to her was ‘I didn’t know Shorty’s had wet T-shirt contests.’ What the hell was I thinking...?”

She mutters than last part into her hands, which are over her face now. She’s turned all red. If I didn’t feel so bad for her, I’d think it was funny. 

“I mean - I just, I just got so damned nervous when I saw her, and the tap at the bar had just, I don’t known, blown up all over her shirt and she was soaked, but it was such a stupid thing to say!”

I’m trying not to let her distract me from my food. I’ve been waiting forever to eat, I can’t stop now. 

“And then I actually said to her ‘when I see something I want, I don’t like to wait.’ I mean, could I be any pushier? Or cheesier? I think I came on way too strong, but I don’t know. I mean, the way she was looking at me - I think there’s something there. I don’t think I imagined it.”

Girls like my person. This Earp probably likes her, too. As people go, she’s probably the best. 

“You’re not going to believe what happened, though. She took her shirt off. I don’t know WHY she did that...I mean, sure, her shirt was soaked, but does she keep another one behind the bar? And then it was like the opening scene of some bad lesbian porno - she got stuck taking her shirt off! Does that even happen in real life? She asked me to help her get un-stuck, and I did, and then she said how awkward it would be if I was a guy, and she got so flustered that she just came in out of the blue with ‘I’m dating a boy! Er, a man!’ I knew she must have a boyfriend...”

She’s slumped down even further now - she’s starting to crowd in on me and my supper. I’ll tolerate it for now. She’s getting pretty agitated. 

“And then do you know what I did, Calamity Jane? I asked her on a date, no, insisted on a date, left her probably the most bent business card I had, and walked out of there while I tipped my hat to her. I don’t know when I started acting like a bad cowboy cliche, but damned if I didn’t catch her blushing a little bit when I turned around to look at her.”

I’m finished eating - it wasn’t nearly enough food, but I can always try to catch a little something later. No shortage of mice here. I’ll forgive her. I climb onto one of her legs and start kneading the soft part while I purr. She usually likes this, and she’s tense. She thinks she did something bad, maybe...but I don’t think so. She had to do *something* other than talk about talking to this girl all the time. 

“I think I’m really in trouble, girl. She’s beautiful. And she’s funny. And she...I don’t know, she doesn’t look at me like some curious straight girl, or like she thinks I’m weird. I know there was something else there...but she has a boyfriend.”

She sighs again, and I keep up my efforts to cheer her up. She squeezes me too much when she gets sad. I don’t want her to be sad.

“I’m just going to do my job. And be nice to her. I won’t push it. I mean, maybe we could be friends? Or...maybe she’ll dump that boy-man, and we could still be friends. Or more. Maybe next time I talk to her, I won’t come off as such a bro, either. That’s all I need. I’ve just got to be myself, and hopefully she likes me. You like me, right CJ?”

I know when nuzzles are needed. But I bet that girl likes my person, too.


	3. If Looks Could Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing on with me, folks! This picks up through 1x06 - enjoy!

* * *

I’m starting to worry about my person. She sits on the couch when she comes home lately, and I like that, but she seems tired. I’ve heard a lot of strange things here, but what my person has been telling me lately is different. There’s something different, and she knows it. I knew as soon as we got here, but you can’t expect humans to pick up on these things. Even she can’t miss it now. 

She was so sad when she came home the other day. She sat down on the couch and she didn’t move for two hours, even when I tried to subtly suggest to her that I was starving. She just sat there and eventually she told me that a person named “Shorty” was dead and that everyone swore it was a heart attack, but she knew that was bullshit. She doesn’t usually say that unless she means it. And then she went on and on about how she didn’t come here to sweep things under the rug. Eventually she looked at me, said something silly about ‘talking to the cat,’ and finally got me some food. It’s cute that she doesn’t think I understand. She needs to stop underestimating me. I’m learning a lot in this town. 

She’s still talking about that Earp person, too. Well, two Earp people, but mostly the one she really likes. The strange things are usually all tied up with these Earps, and so is my person. I know what a look can mean, but I have never heard a person so obsessed with looks. After she fed me the other night, she sat down on the kitchen floor with me and her bowl of vegetables. This is what she said:

“Calamity Jane, if you don’t already think I’ve lost it because I talk to you so damned much, you’re going to know it now. I think Waverly Earp has a crush on me. I mean, I think she *really* likes me. She hasn’t said anything...yet. But you just don’t look at someone like that unless there’s something going on.”

She sighed.

“I haven’t been pushing. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable - I think I made where I stand pretty clear the first day I met her. I’ve been kind, and professional, and I swear, CJ, I’ve kept the flirting and the ridiculous swagger to an absolute minimum. I think she’s coming around to the idea of...something, with me, anyway. At first, it was just looks. You know how it is - she makes eye contact with me, and holds it, and there’s this electricity! I feel a little sketchy for saying this, but at the memorial today, I put my hands on hers - it was a strictly platonic, friendly, comforting gesture. You know how I am, CJ. She was hurting, I couldn’t just do nothing. Then that meathead boy-man comes over and practically smothers her. I let go of her hands and backed off - she looked so uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to make it worse for her. But she reached for my hands across the bar. Maybe it was friendly...I shouldn’t read into it, with everything that happened, but...”

She scrunched up her face and started chewing her vegetables. She never used to talk this much all at once. Something about that Earp girl has really gotten to her. 

She should be home soon. I’m getting hungry. I think that’s her I hear coming now. Maybe. It was her car that pulled up, but the footsteps are...different. Lighter, a little faster. The door swings open, it is her. She’s redder than usual, and she’s...giggling. What an odd thing to do. 

“CJ you aren’t going to believe this! She broke up with him! I’ve never been happier to be living in a tiny town - the gossip has been all over today.” 

She flops down on the floor with me. The last time she did this it was when she found out she got the job here, and that we were moving. It’s good to see her so happy...but she still needs to feed me.


	4. The Nedley and Calamity Jane Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! I’ve been feeling pretty under the weather, and absolutely reeling from the finale (sooo good, and now I’m in the ‘there ain’t enough fanfic in the world’ withdrawal stage). Hoping to get back to my regularly scheduled writing now, though. Thanks for sticking with me <3 
> 
> This chapter cover 1 x 07 through 1 x 08, when Nicole is in the hospital. Prepare for some quality Nedley time!

* * *

Everything is wrong. She didn’t come home. At first, I was just hungry, but now I’m starting to get scared. She has never done this before and I can just feel that she’s in trouble. She doesn’t do this. 

When she left this morning, she left quickly. She got a call, and turned all pale and worried. Something with the Earps again. The one she likes was in some kind of trouble. I’ve never seen her get dressed that fast...and she hasn’t been back since. She missed supper, and now it’s past breakfast time and she still isn’t back. Everything is wrong. 

I think I hear her coming...but the machine was a little different, and now the footsteps on the steps are wrong, too. Heavy, slow, and not in the way hers are when she’s tired. The person is having a hard time with the door. My person knows the lock is funny, and she’s gotten good at it. This isn’t her. 

I know enough to make myself scarce. It’s beneath me to hide under the couch, but my pride will recover. I scurry under, in a most dignified manner, just as the door swings open. It’s the man. With his big hat, and the fur on his face. Why is he here? He seems sad. This can’t be good. 

“Now, where is that damned cat?”

He’s muttering about me. I hate it. 

“Ok, Nedley. She said it doesn’t like men...but I know what cats do like.”

He’s...walking toward the cabinet where she keeps my food. She must have told him where she hides it. He’s here to feed me...which must mean my person is in just as much trouble as I was afraid of. How bad does it have to be that she can’t be here to feed me herself? 

He’s rattling the food in my bowl. How desperate does he think I am?

“Here kitty kitty. I’ve got some food for you. I know you must be hungry you ornery thing...”

He’s talking to me in that ridiculous voice humans use because they think we don’t understand them. But I’m so hungry.

“Ok, I’m putting the bowl down now and walking away. Come and get it, kitty.”

He puts my bowl on the floor and steps away to sit at the table. 

I’m. So. Hungry. 

I can’t do this, I need to eat. It raises my hackles to put my dignity aside, especially in front of this man, but I must eat. I slide out, and move slowly across the floor. If I stay low to the ground, maybe he won’t notice me. Men are notoriously stupid. 

“Well, there you are! You’re an awfully pretty cat, Calamity Jane. And of course Officer Haught has a ginger cat. Your mom has quite the sense of humor.”

At least he knows enough not to come near me...even if he does insist on calling me ‘pretty.’ As much as I hate to admit it, my person was right. He’s not bad...for a man. I can tell that she respects him from the way she talks about him. She doesn’t always agree with him, but she likes him. That’s more than I can say for most men. 

I eat quickly. I don’t hate him, but I don’t want to spend more time around him than I need to. 

“Well, ‘ol girl, I don’t know how long your mom is going to be out of action...but you and I might just get to be friends. I brought you a little treat.”

I’m trying to make a dignified retreat, but he’s pulling something out of his pocket. It’s shiny, and round, and...it’s fish. He brought me fish. He pulls the tab, and it makes that delicious metal noise, and oh, the smell! It’s the good stuff. He’s crouching down now, and holding the can out to me. Damn it. This tricky bastard knows I can’t possibly resist. 

“There, good kitty. I thought you might like that.”

I’m practically eating out of his hand. And the smug shit-ticket has the nerve to pet me. My person has armed me with the best ‘creative, Wynonna Earp approved insults in town.’ It seems this Earp is known for her poetic proclivities, and I appreciate that about her - I certainly need them now. 

“You know, I always wanted a cat. But Chrissy is deathly allergic, and I just never got around to it once she moved out...I mean, who wants to be a grumpy old man with a cat? And we haven’t had nearly the problem with mice that we used to out my way since the demon rodeo moved on...a lot less grain, feed, and garbage around nowadays...so I couldn’t even justify it as a mouser.” 

He pets me one last time - he’s a lot softer about it than I thought he would be. At least he has the decency to leave the can of fish for me on the floor. He fills my water bowl, too, and finally walks to the door. 

“Your mom’s one tough character, Calamity Jane. Hopefully she’ll be back in time for supper, but if she’s not, I’ll come by with another treat. I know you must miss her. Stay out of trouble until she gets back, ok?”

He nods, and leaves, looking a little embarrassed. I still don’t like men...but I think this Nedley might be ok. Still, I hope my person comes back soon. I really do miss her.


	5. Something about her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! I’m sorry for the long absence - I’ve been having a rough patch, and have been absolutely overwhelmed with work. I’m hoping to pick this back up and continue on - thank you all for the encouraging comments, that really helped me get up the energy to get back to working on this.

* * *

She’s never been hurt like this. The Nedley man brought her back late last night, and she hasn’t left her bed since. I know a thing or two about sleeping, you could say I’ve perfected the art - but this sleep isn’t right. Even when her eyes are closed, I can feel her thinking, and shaking, and hurting. And she smells...wrong. She smells of something that doesn’t belong here - something I smell a lot, since we moved here. I don’t know what to do, so I sleep next to her. At least I can keep her warm. 

****************************************************

I don’t know those steps, and I don’t know that knock. Someone is here. They aren’t waiting for my person to get up - she isn’t moving. Whoever they are, they’re coming in. 

“Umm...Officer Haught?” 

There’s a pause.

“Nicole?”

This person’s voice is soft - and a little shaky. I’m curious, I want to go see who this person invading our house is, and what she’s doing. But that would mean leaving my person, and I can’t do that now. She still needs me. 

Soft footsteps are approaching - she isn’t sure if she should be doing this. As she gets closer, I catch a glimpse of her through the doorway. She’s stopped by the couch, holding a picture of my person and her friends, gazing at it with this *look* on her face. A look like she’s hurting, but with a little smile. Could this be the Earp girl? It must be. She puts the picture down softly, and turns toward the doorway. Now would be a good time for me to leave. I’m not afraid, but I prefer to watch people before I let them near me. You never know. 

My person is starting to wake up...

“W-Waverly? How did you...?”

The Earp girl is standing in the doorway now, fidgeting, and turning a little pink. 

“I’m sorry, I really don’t want to intrude, but I went by the police station to pick something up and Sheriff Nedley told me you were home and that he was going to check on you...and I kind of talked him into giving me your key and told him that I would come by to see if you needed anything, or if I could help you. I just - I was worried about you, and I kind of ran off last time I saw you, and I never even thanked you, but you...you saved Wynonna’s life and I just needed to see you.” 

I have never seen a human say so much without breathing in between. My person feels more like herself than she has since she came back. She pushes herself up in bed, and scoops me onto her lap. It’s embarrassing, but I know I make her feel safer. Whatever it takes, I’m just glad to see her coming back. 

“Waverly, I...thank you. I’m really glad you’re here. Are you ok? Is Wynonna ok?”

The Earp girl takes a few steps toward the bed, and sits down just on the edge. She’s...petting me. My person is smiling at her. She always did love anybody who liked me, and I can tell she has it bad for this Earp. No wonder she talks about this girl all the time - her hands are soft, she smells sweet, and I can feel the kindness pouring out of her. There’s something different about this Earp girl. Something special. It seems that my person’s good taste extends beyond companions of a feline variety. 

The Earp girl moves her hand to cover my person’s where it rests on my back. I feel my person’s breathing hitch.

“Hey, you’re the one who was hurt the worst! I’m still a little shaken up, but it’s just another Tuesday in Purgatory, at this point. And Wynonna is...well, Wynonna is Wynonna-ing her way through this. She’s not doing so great, and she’s looking for answers at the bottom of every shot glass in town. Doc’s keeping an eye on her.” 

“I can’t even imagine what she went through. Nedley told me a little bit, but, uh, it seems Purgatory’s aura of mystery is hanging around this, too.”

The Earp girl looks a little sad, but it’s only a second before she inhales, and pushes a smile back on to her face. 

“So - can I help you with anything? Do you need any food? When was the last time you ate? I’m a better bartender than a cook, but I made a little bit of soup because I thought you might need some.”

My person smiles, really smiles, for the first time since she came home. It’s good to see that twinkle back in her eyes. 

“Well, it’s not that coffee you owe me, but it’s a start.”

The Earp girl laughs, and looks down at her hand, still resting on my person’s, her thumb moving in slow circles. 

“You drive a hard bargain, officer...but I promise as soon as you’re back on your feet, I’ll take you out for that coffee.”

They’re looking at each other again. I see what my person meant - I have never seen her look at someone like this before.

“It’s a date, then.” 

“It is.”

And the Earp girl is turning pink, and standing up - walking backwards, and almost tripping over her feet. 

“Let me heat that soup up for you!”

As she’s turning around and making a hasty dash for her bag on the counter, my person speaks up.

“Hey, Waves?”

The Earp girl turns around, smiling and red all the way to the tips of her ears.

“Yeah, Nicole?”

My person takes a deep breath.

“Thank you for coming over. It really means the world to me.” 

Rooted to the spot, the Earp girl holds my person’s gaze before inspecting her feet intently, biting her lip, and raising her eyes again.

“Of course I came, silly.”

All of this tension is tiring, but my person does seem to be much happier. I understand why she likes this Earp...and while she’s here, maybe she’ll feed me, too.


End file.
